dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize