So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
