so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
