I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
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She just used a chaser for red wine.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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