i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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