I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
