Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
