i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
