I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
