I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
