conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize