Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
