White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just want to make out with him forever
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize