I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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