honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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