So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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