So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
