Why is your signature on my underwear?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
