Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
