he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
