What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
