no, he came in my armpit
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
NoShamevember. You game?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
