Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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