Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
