I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is it because I queefed?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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