I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He better not be in your backpack
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
