windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
