I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
