I want to have your abortion
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
