Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
