we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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