ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
