trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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