I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
