I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So many bounce houses so little time
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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