please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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