Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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