You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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