Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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