honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize