HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize