Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize