Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
