I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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