it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
