Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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