Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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