let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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