I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
