I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
