loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
