i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
