ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize