After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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