Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
