I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Green mimosas i think yes
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If I die, sorry about rent.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
