I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize