i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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