Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
