What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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