O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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