I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
