my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
