I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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