Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
